Call Your Mom

Transcript

If you have a Bible, open it to Exodus chapter 20. Exodus chapter 20. While you’re doing that, let me give you greetings from Hinson Church, where I’m a member, as you heard. And I would normally say, and greetings from Western Seminary, but heavens, there’s more Western Seminary people here than I normally see in a day. So, yeah, all right. Moses, prophet of the Lord, the great lawgiver, writes this by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. We’re going to pick this up right in the middle of the Ten Commandments. But in verse 12, verse 12,

honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you

— Exodus 20

(ESV)

. Would you pray with me briefly? Father, we ask now that you would open your word up to us and open us up to your word, that we might behold the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ.

Please bless us to that end. In Jesus’ name, amen. Well, it’s Mother’s Day. Hopefully, I’m not alerting you to that fact. But if so, it is Mother’s Day. The title of this sermon, and really the main takeaway, the main point, and I’ll try to provide some theological justification for it, is this. Call your mom. Call your mom. That’s it. That’s it. If you don’t pick up anything else, you’ll feel like I’ve done my duty today. Let’s think just a little bit about our current context, though. It is Mother’s Day. What a remarkable week has preceded it. You’re no doubt aware of the leaking of the Supreme Court document, potentially overturning the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. And because of that, much attention has been put on the role of mothers, the responsibilities of motherhood, the difficulties and the joys of motherhood. Social media, as you know, is just blowing up right now

with memes and declarations either championing the nobility of motherhood or alerting us to its attendant challenges. The role of mothers, particularly at the front end of pregnancy and delivery, is front and center right now in our national collective thinking. That’s the immediate context. What about the broader context? Coming off the COVID pandemic, where families were asked to social distance, stay at home. Stay at home, we were told. Individuals were asked to avoid contact with older people due to the threat of infection. And some grandparents’ parents went months without seeing their grandkids, their children. And that was seen in society as virtuous. We were doing a good thing by staying away. Worse than that, as you know, in heartbreaking fashion, hospitals were full of dying people without any access to company. Families being stopped at the door, unable to be with loved ones in that most vulnerable and scary

of times. And the result, many grandpas and grandmas, moms and dads were isolated in hospitals, dying alone. Now, I’m concerned that happened. But you know what concerns me even more? Is that for so many of us, that was all too easy to do. This morning, if you don’t understand yourself to be a Christian, I would encourage you to consider the moral importance of honoring your father and your mother. Ask yourself this. Is such honor or dishonor connected to something greater? And what would it take for you to see God as your father, someone whom you ought to and can honor? For the rest of you, do you see honoring your father and mother as something optional to the Christian life? Do you understand how vital to life and Christian doctrine this fifth commandment that we just read actually is? And ask yourself this. Have you neglected the fifth commandment,

The Foundation of Authority

maybe even justifying it by appealing to ministry and other commitments? Well, we just read the passage here. The command to honor father and mother is found, though, in both the Old and the New Testaments. In our particular context, in Exodus 20, the Israelites had just been redeemed from slavery in Egypt. And they were on their way to the promised land. The Mosaic Covenant, in which this is a part, it established Israel as a geopolitical entity, a nation, a people whom God was determined to make into a treasured possession among all peoples and a kingdom of priests, a holy nation. You find that in Exodus 19, right before this. The Ten Commandments, in which, again, this is a part, they introduce and largely summarize the stipulations of the Mosaic Covenant. The Mosaic Covenant is a true bilateral covenant, is the language we use for it. What does that mean?

It’s conditional. If you do this, God says, then I will do these things for you. But if you don’t do this, then I’m going to do other things to you that are far less fun and attractive. The Ten Commandments here, the first half of the Ten Commandments, describes activities that are largely directed or related to a vertical relationship between God and his people. The second half of the Ten Commandments directs activities related to the horizontal relationship between God’s people. And the fifth commandment, honor your father and mother, kind of sits in the middle. It’s almost like a transition from the first five to the last five, from that vertical relationship to the horizontal. It describes, if you will, the most basic kind of authority relationship next to that between God and his people, that between parents

and their children. Now, why would I think that this is the most basic of all authority structures, the parent-child relationship? Well, first, in most cases, as we know, children are born and raised by their parents. The parent-child relationship, it begins in the womb, and it’s characterized from the beginning by dependence. Children, as you know, are absolutely dependent upon their parents for virtually everything, life, sustenance, shelter, protection, nurturing. The task of the parent, then, is to raise the child in the fear and admonition of the Lord, training them for a relative independence so they can participate in a cohesive and blessed society of persons, and will likewise bear and raise up the next generation. That’s just how God set this whole thing up. Second, all things being equal, we are trained, each one of us, to obey. We’re trained to obey. What is obedience? We’re trained to obey in the friendly confines

of a loving home. We learn about authority, the consequences of disobeying authority, and the blessing of obeying authority in the context of living with our mom and our dad. We’re supposed to be taught these lessons in an atmosphere of loving nurture. And so God has established the parent-child relationship as the first, the most fundamental, the foundational relationship, where his laws are to be learned, where God’s blessings are to be felt first. It’s not to be the mere cold hand of authority, but the loving hand of someone who bore you, procreated you in their own likeness. It’s, therefore, a delegated authority that is supposed to come with a tender affection, the kind that echoes the profound affection that our loving God has for his children, who have been crafted and created in his image and likeness. So our relationship with our parents, whom we can immediately see and hear and feel,

prepares us for our relationship with God, a much greater authority, but one whom we ordinarily can’t see and hear and feel. We’re to be trained to understand that authority is a good thing. And I know in our current culture right now, that’s weird to say. But authority is actually a good thing. We are trained to understand that is so. And the blessing that comes from obedience, while difficulty comes from disobedience, we learn those lessons first, or we’re supposed to, in the home. So then this parent-child relationship then propels us into all other human relationships, any that we encounter. To be more blunt, we can’t expect to obey, do not murder, if we did not learn into the charitable atmosphere of honor your father and mother. So let me pause right here and address the unfortunate obvious. Some of you here did not grow up in that kind of atmosphere.

What was supposed to be a home by God’s design, characterized by tenderness and love, was instead perhaps a place of abuse and trauma. I’m not talking about not getting that car you wanted on your 16th birthday. I’m talking about serious trauma. So let me just say, first of all, I am so, so sorry about that. Your parents betrayed you. They took a sacred trust from the Lord and used it for ulterior motives, maybe to build up themselves. And it was not supposed to be that way. It’s never supposed to be that way. God saw everything, and he will judge them, and he will vindicate you. You were wronged, and God hates what happened to you. According to the scriptures, like in Ezekiel chapter 34, there is nothing that provokes the white, hot wrath of God more than those who lead in relationships that are supposed to thrive with the kind of vulnerability

that is God-designed when leaders take advantage of that vulnerability to hurt those under them and build themselves up. And I pray that in his kindness, the Lord has provided other relationships that have enabled you to learn the lessons of good and godly authority. I also pray that you’re able to break out of the pernicious cycle of abuse or neglect so that you can love those that God has placed under you as God loves them. And maybe more on that a little later. Well, let’s just dive into this. What is this command actually telling us to do? What is it to honor? That’s probably the first thing. That’s the command, right? Honor your father and mother. And we note that the word is honor, not simply obey. And God could have said that, right? Obey your mom and your dad. And in other places, he actually does say that,

like in Ephesians chapter 6. This most basic of relationships, this father-mother-child relationship is to be characterized by honor. So what is it to honor? Well, the Hebrew word is kavod, to weigh heavily upon. It’s sometimes translated as glory or splendor. So how does one do that? Well, I would argue, and what I’m going to argue from here, from the scriptures, to honor is to show reverence, obedience, and care. Reverence, obedience, and care. Those are the three things I want to unpack for us here. Now, this definition comes from my study of the Bible, not the dictionary. But we’re in church, so that’s what you’re going to get, right? So that’s the first thing. What is it to honor? Show reverence, obedience, and care. Second, we might want to ask, well, whom are we to honor? And obviously, the command tells us, right? You’re to honor your father and your mother.

What Honor Looks Like

But let me note two things here first. The Fifth Commandment lists both the father and the mother. And that might seem obvious to us here in America in the 21st century. But in the ancient Near East, the time and place when and where the Ten Commandments were delivered, that was far from obvious. The elevation of the mother equal partner in parenting would have seemed jarring and radical in comparison to the other ethical codes of that era. Of course, as Christians, that should not surprise us. Men and women, though doing different things, are equal in dignity and essence in God’s eyes. And so the honor of children to their parents is supposed to reflect that. OK, well, so honor your father and mother. We’re going to expand that a little bit more later, but now ask this question. So who is to honor their father and mother?

Obviously, it’s to those who have a father and mother. But there’s more to it than that. What is not obvious is that there’s no age put on this command, no statute of limitations in the Ten Commandments that would get those who reach a certain age off the hook for this requirement. There’s no hint that when the Ten Commandments were delivered, the Lord indicated that this was a special command only for those who are still living under their parents’ roof. In fact, I want to propose that the weight of the command is actually directed at the people I’m looking at now, for the most part, adults. Adults. So to all you parents out there who, when you heard, oh, this is a sermon on honor your father and mother, and you’re thinking, wow, I can poke and prod my kid, listen. Listen up. I’m sorry.

There will be a couple of places where you can poke and prod, but not for most of it. Also, if this is, as I’ve tried to argue, foundational to all authority relationships, then the command to honor your father and your mother has application to all subsequent authority relationships, including things like teacher, student, employer, employee, governor, citizen. We might also note here that this command comes with a promise. Paul, in Ephesians, even alerts us to that. This is the first command that comes with a promise, he says. Well, what’s that promise? So that you may live long, you may have a long life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. It’s like the Vulcan blessing, right? Live long and prosper. No Star Trek fans here at all. OK. All right, this is going to be kind of heavy, so laugh when you can, all right?

Laugh when you can. We have to point out the opposite. This is in the Ten Commandments. It’s given to Old Covenant Israel. It’s part of the Old Covenant with us. Well, this commandment is different, as I noted, because it has a promise. We have to ask, why would this commandment come with such a promise? To answer that, we probably have to back up just a little bit. As I said earlier, the Mosaic Law was given to establish Israel as this geopolitical entity, a nation, a country, in the truest sense of the words. As soon as at least they entered the land, they would have that. And the covenant, as I mentioned earlier also, was bilateral. It’s conditional. Do this, and I’ll do that sort of thing. Particularly, what we find here is that God would bless his people for obedience, and he would curse them for disobedience.

And you can find all of those blessings and curses listed in Deuteronomy 28 and Leviticus chapter 26. The blessings for obedience were prosperity of every kind, peace, long life, fruitfulness of anything that could possibly bear fruit. You could basically summarize it this way, long life and prosperity in the land. And that’s exactly what the Fifth Commandment states. The curses, as we might expect, the curses for disobedience, they are the exact opposite. They’re characterized by death, disease, drought, dearth, danger, destruction, defeat, deportation, destitution, and disgrace. And the mother of all of those was the deportation, exile. Exile, the mother of all curses. Exile is the antithesis in every possible way of living long and prospering in the land. It’s to be kicked out. So at least from a blessing and curse standpoint, a critical key to staying on the blessing side of the ledger was to obey the Fifth Commandment.

If the Israelites could get honor your father and mother down, I would suggest they probably had a good chance of obeying the rest of the commands. But if they failed in that most fundamental of commands, then I would say they probably had no hope of obeying any of the rest of them. But here we are, Portland, 21st century, followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, members of the new covenant. We’re no longer under the law. So what does this command and the promise mean for us? Well, I would say the command still stands because it’s repeated and alluded to multiple times in the New Testament, most clearly by Paul in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 1. As I said, children, obey your parents in the Lord. There’s the obey one. You can poke a little bit if you want now. For this is right. Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. So basically, just a repeat of that commandment. But you might think, Todd, that doesn’t really solve the problem of what prospering in the land has to do with us here in Portland. Well, a promise made to old covenant Israel regarding the land can’t directly be applied to the church, and especially not to whatever country we live in. But I think we can say this. If obeying the command to honor your father and mother came with a promise to receive the blessing of the Lord according to the prescribed blessings of the old covenant, then I would argue that today, obeying the command to honor your father and your mother will result in receiving the blessing of the Lord under the prescribed blessings of the new covenant.

And we have newer and better promises. They’re actually superior to the blessings of the old covenant. They have to do with rich relationship with God, peace with God, growth, and sanctification, other kinds of relationships that we have here, full inheritance of the kingdom of God, things like that.

Four Areas of Application

OK. So now we get to the application part of this whole thing. What does this look like? I want to think about application in four categories for us. First, the importance of family. I know that some of you might be expecting me to give parenting advice in a sermon that’s based on this command. But if you’re a parent right now, then I think the best way that you can help your kids with regard to this command is by honoring your own father and mother. And if what I said is true about how foundational this command is, then it should raise the stakes of family in our reckoning. Your family, at whatever stage you find yourself in right now, is important. Though culturally, much has changed between now and back in old covenant Israel, the vital role that family plays in God’s economy has not changed at all.

Parents, children, grandparents, you need to know that what you do as a family matters. And I’m not talking about how we raise underage children. I’m really talking about how we honor our parents, regardless of what stage of life you or they are in. Can you imagine how much better this nation would be if everybody truly and robustly honored their parents at every stage of life? Can you imagine how much better your own immediate and extended family would be if each and every person in your family honored their father and mother? I’m going to flesh out a bit on how to do this. That’s the first one, importance of family. But honor to whom honor is due. If this command is foundational to all authority relationships from God on down, then we need to think about how to honor those to whom honor is due. That means that all authority relationships that

intersect with your life, including government, your work, the church. Third, here’s where you poke your kid. Obey your parents. Obey your mom and your dad. This is an easy one. Kids, and I’m talking about all those who live under the immediate authority of their parents, you need to honor your mom and your dad. Just have to. We might talk about that a little bit. That’s the last thing I’m going to say where you can poke and prod. And then finally, adults. This is the majority of what I have to say for the rest of time as it comes to you. I really think this command is primarily for the adults and the people of Israel. And that has a lot of application for us. So to illustrate and apply, I want to go to a series of passages that speak to honoring parents in terms of those three

categories, reverence, obedience, and care. Reverence, what is it to revere? Well, biblically speaking, to revere is to respect, to honor, to give proper deference, depending on the person and the role. It’s to treat as quantitatively, if not qualitatively better, to consider hallowed or exalted, to be in awe of. Now, there’s lots of examples in the Bible of how not to do this. Here’s one. I’m just going to allude to it. Elisha is out walking along, and some little kids make fun of him because he’s bald. And then the next thing you know, a bunch of bears come out and they maul the kids. Parents, you can do with that whatever you want right now. You do with that whatever you want. We can debate, I suppose, the value of mauling by bear in parenting. But that’s an obvious example of what not to do, how not to revere someone, to mock them, to mock them.

They had no respect for his age or his position. They should have treated him with deference and awe. I mean, heavens, he’s a prophet of the Lord. Instead, they mock him for his lack of hair. Let’s go to a more positive example. Let’s go to a positive example. Story of Joseph meeting his father, Jacob. And I suspect many of you are aware from this. It’s in the last few chapters of the book of Genesis. Joseph had revealed to his brothers that he was the second in command of all Egypt. And then he found out that his beloved father was still alive. And so he moves immediately to retrieve him out of the land of Canaan to come to Egypt. Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, promised the best of the land and then offered Joseph a royal retinue to get him. And Joseph doesn’t have to be told twice or told this.

Then Joseph prepared his chariot and went up to meet Israel, his father, in Goshen. He presented himself to him and fell on his neck and wept on his neck a good while. What’s going on there? Well, I think it’s more than mere sentimentality. It’s the language of deference and reverence. Later, when Pharaoh grants Jacob, the father of Joseph, an audience, we see the respect that the king of Egypt shows to the aged shepherd. And twice, Jacob blesses the king. We could multiply examples from the scriptures of negativity, of what it is to not show reverence, like Ham and Noah, or Eli’s wicked sons, or Simeon and Jacob. But I think that the example here of Joseph is sufficient. We need to respect and show deference to those in authority over this and to those who are older. And most of our deference today is going to manifest itself

in words. To young people, consider how you speak of your parents. Consider how you speak of your teachers. It’s so easy to just blast away on social media because you can say whatever you want and there’s no immediate repercussion. But think on that. How do you speak about your parents to your friends? I know they’re not the coolest people around. I know that because I’m a parent and I know I’m definitely not the coolest person around.

Adults, same thing. Consider your language and speech, especially when it comes to your pastors, especially when it comes to government officials. I’ll just say this. I’ve been deeply troubled by Christians about the way that we have spoken about our past two presidents, both of them. Politically liberal Christians spoke atrociously about President Trump. Politically conservative Christians speak atrociously about President Biden. It’s okay and right to disagree on policy. It’s not okay. It is never okay. It is a grievous sin to mock an individual and to engage in ad hominem. And it’s not easy, given the past two administrations. I get it. But challenge yourself. I’m not going to personally insult someone to whom honor is due because God has ordained that they lead this nation right now. That doesn’t mean that everything they do is right and good. Heavens. Sometimes God’s ordination is one of judgment on us, right?

Reverence, Obedience, and Care

But we still have to respect the Lord by granting dignity and respect and honor to those whom God has put over us. What is it to obey? Well, let’s go to Jesus. We’ll use some Jesus examples now. This is a positive example. It’s not a negative one. Look at Luke chapter two. Luke chapter two, verses 41 through 51. If you want to turn there, I’m just going to read it.

Now his, Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. And when he was 12 years old, they went up according to custom. And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents didn’t know it. But supposing him to be in the group, they went a day’s journey. But then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances. And when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem searching for him. After three days, they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you

in great distress. Jesus said to them, why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my father’s house? It’s kind of a Jesus-y thing to say, isn’t it? And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. His mother treasured up all these things in his heart. Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. Okay, what’s going on here? All the faithful Jews did this at the time. The family of Jesus sojourns to Jerusalem for the feast of the Passover. And we’re told that this was their habit, they’re pious, they are faithful people. But this trip was not like all the others. The typical practice was to go in caravan, pilgrim feasts. Family and friends from Nazareth,

they all traveled together. This was not only more fun, but it was probably safer to do it this way. And when it came time for the caravan to leave, Mary and Joseph just assumed that Jesus is in the group, maybe hanging out, playing with his cousins or friends as they travel back. But then a day into the journey and they discover to their whore that Jesus is not with them. And so they react immediately. Now, any parent would be hugely concerned, right? Where’s my child? Where’s my child? I gotta get back. But think about Mary and Joseph. They have just lost the Son of God. They’ve lost the Son of God. And so they turn back immediately and we’re told they search through Jerusalem. And Jerusalem was an overpopulated city anyway, but during festival time, it was even more so. It’s just crammed with people

and it takes them three days to find him. And when they finally find him, they find him sitting in the temple with the rabbis, asking and answering questions. The rabbis, we’re told, are impressed with his understanding. They like his questions. When they ask him questions, they really like his answers. Mary and Joseph were told they’re astonished, relieved, stunned. I mean, you can put yourself in their position, right? They actually kind of scold Jesus, showing a whole lot more restraint than I would in this moment. Mary questions Jesus, why would you do this? Why’d you treat us like this? We were in distress. And Jesus responds as though the problem was actually theirs, not his. Why were you looking anywhere else than here for me? Didn’t you know I have to be in my father’s house? Jesus just didn’t happen to be there. He had to be there.

It was necessary. And so Mary and Joseph, they stare at Jesus in disbelief. They mutter a few things. They just head back home. And then they head back to Nazareth. We’re told that Mary ponders these things in her heart, though, reflecting on the nature of her son. We’re not told what she was thinking, but we know that Jesus was submissive. He obeyed his parents. So kids, here’s another poke and prod time, moms. Jesus was right. Jesus was right. He obeyed his mom and dad. Do that. Obey your mom and dad. Parents, are you offended when your children disobey? Do you take that as a personal insult? How could you do this to me? Or are you brokenhearted that their disobedience betrays a heart that is far from God? Are you parenting in such a way that everything is a personal insult to you?

Or do you understand what you’re doing to be a delegated responsibility from the Lord, where you’re taking care of someone that he actually values more than you do? Obey. And then care. Care. Mark chapter 7, verses 9 through 13, we read this. Jesus is talking with the Pharisees, as usual. And he said to them, when they questioned him, Jesus turns it back on them and says, you have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father and your mother. And whoever reviles father and mother must surely die. But you say, if a man tells his father and mother, whatever you would have gained from me is korban, or korban. That is, dedicated to God. Then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father and mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition

that you have handed down. And many such things you do. Here, our commandment intersects with Jesus’ ministry in a negative way. What’s going on here? Jesus had noticed that the Pharisees and scribes, they were neglecting obedience to the fifth command by giving the money that should have been going to care for their parents, instead giving it to God. Oh, isn’t that spiritual? Now, let that sink in. Apparently, God is more interested in your taking care of your parents than he is in you ministering for him.

What might that look like today? Putting ministry to others before ministry to parents? You often hear pastors and Christians, we exhort one another, be sure to care for your wife and kids. You don’t want to sacrifice your kids on the altar of ministry. You don’t. That’s good advice. When was the last time you heard someone say, don’t neglect your mom and dad for the sake of ministry?

Here’s the thing. God has a lot of Christians to do your ministry, whatever that might be. He has a lot of them. He is entirely self-sufficient. You’re easily replaceable. You’re easily replaceable. You know where you’re not replaceable? You’re the only father and mother to your children. You’re the only husband or wife to your spouse. And you are one of, perhaps, the only child to your parents. And you are God’s provision to your parents’ care. And Jesus himself was not impressed with neglecting parents in the name of other good things, even ministry to the Lord. How do I know that? Look at Jesus. John 19, Jesus is on the cross. Verse 25, standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary, the wife of Cleopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, woman,

behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home. Isn’t it interesting what’s going on at the cross here? Jesus Christ, in the midst of bearing the sins of the world, took the time to honor his mom by making sure that she was taken care of. Now, Jesus had other siblings. But perhaps he knew that John would outlive those siblings, which he most certainly did. And he was entrusting his mom to their care, or to John’s care. There’s a song that was popular for a while, 15, 20 years ago, called Above All. And it’s a beautiful song, until you get to the last line of the chorus. Crucified, laid behind a stone, you lived to die, rejected and alone. Like a rose trampled on the ground, you took the fall and thought of me above all.

It’s so sentimental - Jesus is on the cross, thinking about Todd. Isn’t that wonderful? Until you start to think about it for a little bit. And it’s like, I really don’t think that’s true. And I’m not even sure that I want it to be true. And a matter of fact, I don’t want it to be true at all. Jesus is doing so many things at the cross. And certainly, atoning for my sins is one of them. But that’s only one of the things that he was doing. I really don’t know that Jesus was thinking about Todd as he hung on the cross. But you know who we know he was thinking about? His mom. He was literally thinking about his mom while he was on the cross. But that wouldn’t work in a song. ‘You thought of Mary above all’ - we can’t sing that.

That’s how you obey the fifth commandment. So when was the last time you called your mom? Here’s the application of the sermon. The reason that the command to honor your mom and dad is given is because it doesn’t come naturally. And it might not be all that easy. Do you inconvenience yourself for your parents? Or do you prioritize them? Do you initiate relationship with them? Whenever my wife calls her parents, they never, ever tell her, we’re too busy to talk with you right now. Now, we might deceive ourselves into thinking, well, the reason they’re not too busy is because they’re old and they’ve got nothing better to do. But maybe the reason that my wife’s parents always take Camille’s call is because they know what’s important.

Older parents are so anxious to talk to their adult children not because they’re bored and pathetic, but maybe it’s because the years have given them an appreciation for what is really important. The Bible gives us wisdom on how to act because we’re not wise without it. Talk to anybody who’s lost a parent. You can talk to me. I’ve lost both of my parents. I would give anything right now to be able to pick up the phone and call them, to sit across the table, let them know how much I appreciate them, to share with them all that’s been going on.

It requires no effort at all to give honor to people who are easy to give honor to. Maybe for some of you, your parents are not all that honorable, and it’s hard. Let me give you just two quick examples of people who I think honor their very dishonorable parents. And think of a friend of mine who went out of her way to sit by her meth addict father’s deathbed. He had betrayed her in every possible way, but when he was dying, she still went and sat with him and held his hand and prayed for him as he died. It wasn’t easy. I know someone else who visits her father in prison. He’s in prison for unspeakable sex crimes. She inconveniences herself to honor him, even though by most everyone’s definitions or standards, he does not deserve her respect.

Scripture’s clear that in the last days, men will be lovers of themselves. Relationships and families will be torn asunder in such times, and there are lots of warnings of the relational chaos in a world that has rejected God. But when we honor our parents, we are taking a stand for God. We’re being salt and light in perhaps the most fundamental way for a world that is in rebellion against him. We’re actually taking a stand for all that is true and beautiful and good. And again, as I look back on the last few years, that’s been one of the brutal devastations of COVID. People alone in hospitals, people sitting at home shuttered in. No one should ever die alone, especially not your mom and dad. Adults, here, do you see your parents as a burden or is your attitude that if they need care, you’ll make sure they get it?

The Perfect Son

If they need a place to stay, you’ll make sure that they have some place to stay. It’s kind of like reverse parenting when you get older. The roles have changed. It’s easy to care for your little babies, your little kids because they’re cute and they’re lovable most of the time and they’re helpless. But our aging parents are kind of helpless too. They’re not so lovable and they’re really not cute. I get it. Not by worldly standards. I tell my adult boys this all the time. You will never regret being kind to your mom. Never. But you will regret, I guarantee it, being unkind. You will. Now, I suspect for all of you, hopefully, you’re feeling the weight of this fifth commandment. Not one of us has honored our parents the way we should. None of us has been able to obey this most basic command of society, morality.

Of course, the good news of the gospel is that there was one who actually did. His obedience is far more than a trivial curiosity or an inspirational example. We looked earlier at the boy Jesus. He honored Mary and Joseph, his biological mother, and adopted father perfectly. But he also honored his heavenly father as well. As a matter of fact, he honored his father perfectly. He summed up his life’s work this way. I honor my father. That’s in John 8. He obeyed his father. John 5, truly, truly, I say to you, the son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the father doing, for whatever the father does, the son does likewise. And then in John 14, we see that Jesus’ obedience to his father was evidence of his love for the father. I do as the father has commanded me,

so the world may know that I love the father. That love for God the father God, his father, took him all the way to the cross. Philippians 8, we read,

being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the father

— Philippians 2

(ESV)

. And if these passages are correct, if these passages are correct, then our salvation hinges in a very significant way on Jesus obeying the fifth commandment. Here’s what I mean. His honoring of God the father took Jesus to the cross, so his obedience to his father

is the instrumental cause of our salvation. Further, his constant obedience to the law, his constant obedience to all that was right, which is just another way of saying his constant honoring of God his father has become the means by which we are saved. Jesus honored his father by knowing no sin. Jesus honored his father by becoming sin on our behalf. Jesus honored his father by rising from the dead, and Jesus continues to honor his father by interceding on our behalf. Jesus continues to honor his father by reigning at his right hand, and Jesus will honor his father by returning to judge the living and the dead. And then at the end of all things, according to 1 Corinthians 15, Jesus will honor his father by delivering the kingdom to God the father so that God may be all in all. And the promise of the gospel, of course,

is that all who repent of their sins, sins that have dishonored God the father, we can honor God the father by confessing with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believing in our hearts that God raised him from the dead. And if you repent and believe the gospel, you can have the righteousness of Jesus. Another way of saying Jesus’s obedience and honoring of his father credited to your account so that you can be adopted into God’s family and truly call God your father. A full heir with a true son and nothing honors God the father more than that. Amen, amen. Let me pray. I’ll say one more. Call your mom, call your mom. All right, Father in heaven, we’re grateful for this fifth commandment that you have given to us. We’re grateful that it’s incorporated even into the new covenant. We’re grateful for parents and your plan.

Father, we ask that you would give us grace, grace to do that which is right, grace to give honor to those whom honor is due, grace and wisdom to know best how to do that. Bless us that and we pray in Jesus’s name, amen.