The Beautiful Blueprint

Transcript

From Mark, the Gospel of Mark, we’ll be reading from Chapter 10, verses 1-12. Why don’t we please stand as we hear God’s word.

He left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan and crowds gathered to him again. Again, as was his custom, he taught them and Pharisees came up and in order to test him, asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? He answered them, what did Moses command you? They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two,

— Mark 10

(ESV)

but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. And in the house, the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.

— Mark 10

(ESV)

This, dear people, is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God. You may be seated. Would you join me in prayer? Spirit, we pray that you would come and help us. We pray that you would give us eyes to see the beauty of your word. And we pray that you would come and bring comfort and at the same time bring correction. We pray that you would help us to leave this place this morning with a grander vision of your faithfulness and a deep abiding love for you. We also pray, Father, that we would leave here with a greater vision

concerning this beautiful blueprint of marriage. Help us to submit ourselves under the lordship of your word. Speak to us this morning, we pray in Christ’s name. Amen. Now, I know this might sound like a cliche precursor to an uncomfortable conversation, but we really need to talk. We’ve been married now for over two years. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m just not happy anymore. And I can’t really remember a time where I’ve been excited about our marriage. I mean, maybe in the very beginning, but those days have long passed. Now, I want to be fair. This isn’t all your fault. It’s my fault, too. We’ve both done some really bad things in our marriage. And so I’m willing to own my poor decisions. And honestly, I think if you just slowed down from the busyness of work and chaos and really thought about marriage, you would come to the realization

that you’re not happy either. And listen, that’s okay. We’ve both grown a lot over these last two years. And in many ways, we’re totally different people now. I mean, we were so young when we got married. How could we know what we wanted out of life? And how could we know what we wanted out of marriage? I want you to know that this isn’t just one of those impulsive decisions that you always accuse me of making. I’ve thought about this for a very long time. I was just hoping that my feelings would change, but they haven’t. I know the idea of staying married seems hard, and the idea of divorce seems even more difficult, seems incredibly selfish and hard to imagine. But I just think if we get a divorce now, over time, we’ll both realize that this was the best thing for us in the end.

I also want you to know that I still do love you. I’m just not in love with you anymore. I know there’s a lot of things to think through in terms of the house and finances and what we’re going to do with your mom. My hope is that we could work these things out respectfully. Remember, I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I want you to feel the same way for me. And obviously, we need to handle this situation with a lot of care because there’s children involved. We got to consider their feelings. I know that they’ll struggle a bit in the beginning with this decision, but when they get older, I’m confident that they’ll understand. This is what we had to do for us both to be happy. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear this morning, and I’m sorry about that.

The Reality of Divorce

I just want to be happy, and I want you to be happy. And I think the only way forward is for us to end our marriage and divorce. This, brothers and sisters, is a common conversation in our world. It’s a conversation that’s rooted in a shallow, self-centered, and superficial view of marriage. And this isn’t just my opinion. We have statistical data to back this up. Most recent statistics on marriage reveal that there is a divorce occurring somewhere in the United States roughly every 36 seconds. That means that there’s almost 50% of all marriages in the United States that will end in divorce or separation. Researchers estimate that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce, 60% of all second marriages end in divorce, and 73% of all third marriages end in divorce. So what this means on a practical and street level is that God’s institution

and design for marriage is in a very bad way, and no one seems to even care. The world has been convinced that a forever love does not even exist, that marriage is nothing more than a momentary commitment, and that divorce is, of course, always an option if things don’t work out the way you planned. And although people might say those most popular wedding day words, till death do us part, the data proves that what they really mean is till disenchantment or dissatisfaction do us part. So you could dissolve your marriage and sever your commitments so long as it’s done in the name of personal happiness. And even Christians taking their cues from the culture and not from the word of God have determined that divorce is really no big deal. They join the song that the world sings that divorce is always a viable option,

so go ahead and get your prenup. But the question we as Christians should be asking is, what does God have to say about divorce? The good news is that we don’t have to guess. God has made it quite simple for us to know. Some 400 years before Jesus steps into human history, God speaks through the mouth of the prophet Malachi and says, I hate divorce. I hate it. But even though God hates divorce, and even though it was never part of his design, God’s people throughout the ages have tried to find some kind of loophole to sever this most sacred union. And this, brothers and sisters, is exactly what we see in our text this morning. Sinful people seeking to sever God’s most sacred union. Now, listen, I know this is a hard passage. I know that the mere mention of divorce will make some people in our congregation

feel very uncomfortable. And for some, it can bring up a lot of baggage, pain, and shame. Hear me, I understand. As a child of a mother who suffered two divorces because of unfaithfulness, I know firsthand the ugliness and difficulty of divorce. I want you to know that although we’ll be dealing with this difficult and ugly reality of divorce in this narrative, my aim this morning is to help us to look beyond the ugliness of divorce and see the beauty of God’s sacred design for marriage. Because when we understand his design, we can see how God uses it as a living picture of God’s faithfulness and steadfast love to unfaithful people. So I promise you, I will not leave you this morning with condemnation, but with Christ. So have that in mind as we move through our text this morning, this very difficult text. As I normally do, I’ve broken up our passage into five sections that I think are

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The Territory and the Trap

going to be helpful for us. So we’ll look at the territory, the trap, the turn, the template, and the teaching. So let’s begin in verse 1 with the territory. And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them. So Jesus has been making his way towards Jerusalem to his cross where he will be betrayed and killed by wicked men. His route to Jerusalem so far has taken him from Galilee to Capernaum. And now here we see that Jesus and his disciples have made their way through the region of Judea, just beyond the Jordan. Now, what exactly is the territory beyond the Jordan? Well, it’s a place called Perea. And this territory is where the home of King Herod was. Now, I want you to take that and file that away for a few moments because that’s going

to be an important detail, and we’ll see that shortly. So when they arrived to the territory of Perea, Jesus, as he always does, draws a massive crowd. Now, the crowd is a mixed bag of people. It was full of people who were genuinely interested in the words of Jesus, those who were excited about his preaching and his teaching. It was also this other group of people who were there who had no interest in Jesus’s message. They were simply there as spectators who wanted to see some smoke. Then you had this whole other group of people in the crowd. These folks were the Pharisees. The reason they were there is because they wanted to pick a fight with Jesus. And we see that in verse 2 with the trap. And the Pharisees came up, and in order to test him, asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

Now, just to be clear, the Pharisees didn’t ask this question out of curiosity. They didn’t approach Jesus because they genuinely were confused concerning divorce. This question is in every way an attempt to trap Jesus. See, up to this point, the Pharisees have tried over and over again to shut down the ministry of Jesus, but nothing worked. They failed in every way to stop his growing influence. So here, the Pharisees have thought long and hard, and they’ve built, at least in their mind, this bulletproof strategy to trap Jesus. And it all begins with this seemingly non-threatening question. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Now, how is this question a trap? Now, as I see it, there seems to be two strategies in which the Pharisees are aiming to trap Jesus. One is a theological trap, the other is a death trap. And it’s my opinion that the Pharisees deployed both of these strategies

simultaneously to secure their intended outcome. Now, to understand the strategy behind their theological trap, you have to first understand the two prevailing theological positions concerning divorce in Jesus’ day. Essentially, you had two theological schools of thought from two different rabbis, one liberal and one conservative. On the liberal side, you had Rabbi Hillel, and on the conservative side, you had Rabbi Shammai. Both rabbis had vastly different views concerning divorce. The conservative side said that divorce was never an option except for in the case of sexual immorality. But on the liberal side, they said that divorce was pretty much an option for anything. And what’s crazy is that both rabbis drew their theological conclusion on their interpretation of this same obscure passage in Deuteronomy. And let me read this passage for you in Deuteronomy. When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes

because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of the house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the later man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the later man dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. Okay? So that’s the verse that both rabbis would appeal to for their theological position on divorce. Now, the part that defines where they stand theologically is in this little section here that says, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found

some indecency in her. Okay, that phrase there. On the conservative side, that word indecency was interpreted as sexual immorality. But on the liberal side, that word indecency was interpreted as pretty much anything you could imagine. Okay? So think of maybe an embarrassment. One article puts it this way. It says that a man could divorce his wife if she failed to cook his meals properly. Okay? It’s bogus. So if a woman found no favor in her husband’s eyes, for whatever reason he wanted, he could divorce her. Now, in Jesus’ day, the popular theological position on divorce was the liberal position. Divorce for any reason. And this just goes to show you the wickedness of men, that they would, in this patriarchal society, conveniently choose to theologically interpret this passage in such a way that gave them a get-out-of-marriage-free card, that they could turn in for whatever sinful reason their wicked hearts

could imagine. This liberal idea that started with Rabbi Hillel was embraced by the Pharisees, was then taught to men, and then eventually made its way into Jewish culture. And so this made divorce in the first-century Jewish world widely acceptable. And so the Pharisees, knowing where Jesus sat theologically on this issue, asked this question publicly. So that if Jesus answers this question conservatively, that is, in a way that stands in opposition to the popular view of divorce, their hope was that the crowd would quickly turn on Jesus. You see, they wanted with this question to create a controversy big enough to get Jesus canceled by the crowd. Okay, so that’s the first strategy. But if by chance Jesus, in his wisdom, sidesteps that trap, as he’s been known to do, the Pharisees have their backup trap already set, and that’s the death trap. Now, you remember when I mentioned to you that Jesus was in the territory of King

Herod? Well, here’s the reason why that territory is important. If you remember last year, while we were in Mark’s Gospel, in chapter 6, we looked at the death of John the Baptist. Now, if you can’t remember that far back, I’ll just briefly refresh your memory. John the Baptist was eventually beheaded, killed, for speaking out publicly against Herod, who had divorced his wife to marry his brother’s wife, Herodias. Mark 6, verses 17 through 19 says, for it was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, it is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife. And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. Well, Herodias, as we know, eventually got what she wanted, the head of John the Baptist on a platter.

So here Jesus sits in the territory of Herod, likely in the same area where the bones of John the Baptist were buried. And the Pharisees’ question about Jesus is very similar. Is it lawful to get a divorce? They asked this question in hopes that Jesus would speak against divorce in the same way that John the Baptist spoke against divorce. The idea here is that because of Jesus’s proximity to Herod and to Herodias, if he does answer conservatively, then that puts him in jeopardy of receiving the same fate as John the Baptist. Okay? So this is a theological trap and a death trap wrapped in one. And it’s very clever, these Pharisees. Their hatred for Jesus is so heavy that they conspire against him with this elaborate and sophisticated trap. But as sophisticated as these Pharisees attempt to be, Jesus, again, outsmarts them. And we see that in verses 3 and 5 with the turn.

And he answered them, what did Moses command you? They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. So here Jesus avoids their trap altogether. Notice Jesus doesn’t answer their question. He turns the question back on them. He actually makes them answer his question so that he can deal with them on his terms. And they actually respond. And of course, what’s the verse they use to justify their position on divorce? This obscure verse in Deuteronomy 24, which just goes to show you how popular this view was in their culture. Now, just to be clear, this obscure verse in Deuteronomy in no way mandates divorce or gives legal grounds for divorce. This verse is about God forbidding a husband to remarry his wife after he divorces her.

And you see, this verse, in many ways, was not written for men to justify their divorce. It was actually written as a protection for women. Because some of these wicked men, who were never satisfied with their wife, would get a divorce just to see if another wife might be more satisfying. And if not, well, then they can always go back to their first wife and get remarried. But that’s wicked. And God hates that. And so this command protected women from being used and exploited by foolish and empty-hearted pigs. And here, these Pharisees are reciting this gross and liberal misinterpretation of this verse. But with their response, Jesus exposes their wicked and sinful hearts, publicly, mind you. And then Jesus just gets right to the heart of the issue. Essentially, Jesus is saying the very fact that you’re looking for a theologically liberal loophole reveals the hardness of your heart.

God’s Beautiful Blueprint

Because you see, divorce was never a part of God’s design. But because men and women are so wicked, God gave concession because of the hardness of man’s heart. So rather than dealing with the question concerning what is lawful and being baited by these Pharisees, look what Jesus does here. He pulls them back to the beginning to show him his design and intention for marriage. So these Pharisees, they want to talk about how to dismantle marriage. Jesus says, let’s talk about how I’ve designed marriage. And we see that in verses six and seven with a template.

From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

— Genesis 1

, 2

(ESV)

Jesus, in his brilliance, pulls them back to the very beginning, to the creation account. And it’s here where Jesus showcases his beautiful blueprint concerning this most sacred union. He quotes a few powerful verses from the creation account in Genesis. And listen, we could spend six weeks going through these four verses here. There is so much depth concerning God’s design for marriage. But we’ll have to leave this deep dive for another sermon series at another time. But what I do want you to see in these first four verses, briefly, is five massive truths concerning marriage. First thing we want to see here is that marriage began with God. That’s why it says, but from the beginning of creation. Marriage is first and foremost an institution designed by God in the very beginning of creation. Marriage was always a part of God’s original intention. And this is important to understand, because a lot of people think that Adam was just lonely.

And because of that, God responded to Adam’s loneliness by creating Eve. And so based on that logic, most people think that marriage was a bit of an afterthought from God. But that’s not the case. Genesis 2, 18 says, then the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. So hear me. This is not Adam saying to God, hey, I’m lonely. I need a companion. You left me here in the middle of nowhere with nobody. God initiates. The idea of marriage was God’s design. So to be clear, the concept of marriage began with God in the beginning, which means then, no matter what the culture thinks about marriage or how the culture redefines marriage, it’s important to understand that its original intent was designed by God. And you see, if God created the concept in the beginning, he has author autonomy.

He defines it. He determines how it works. He decides how it plays out, and he develops the template for his people to follow. And one of the most challenging things for me to wrap my mind around is how people who hate God and hate the laws of God and the goodness of God would fight so hard to embrace an institution that was created by God in the first place. Marriage was not created by the state for tax benefits or for insurance purposes. It was designed by God. Therefore, every expression of it should correspond with the designer’s intent. If God wrote the book, he determines what it looks like. The second thing to understand is that marriage is heterosexual. God made them male and female. Now, this is a very controversial statement in our non-binary and inclusive world. But no matter how much the concept is hijacked by the culture, marriage is by design to be heterosexual.

And this remains true even if our culture redefines it, deconstructs it, or even if the culture inks it into law. They’re simply going through the motions. God does not endorse it, nor does he recognize it as a legitimate marriage. God’s design for marriage was, is, and always will be heterosexual. Now, that might sound crazy to people in our city. And I know the very fact that I’m preaching this likely will come with all kinds of repercussions. But it’s the truth. It’s the truth. Marriage was never intended to be same-sex or polygamous or polyamorous. And any attempt to redefine or reinterpret marriage is to destroy its original design. And it will ultimately fail. And side note, it doesn’t matter if a same-sex marriage is monogamous. You can be in a committed, same-sex, state-sanctioned marriage and it still not be recognized by God because that’s not how he intended it to be.

Now, listen. This doesn’t mean that we don’t love and show dignity to people who think differently about marriage than we do. Last year, I was with my family in Huntington Beach. We were walking down Main Street and there was a sea of people there. And I noticed a man holding a big sign in the distance. And as we walked up to this man holding his sign, and as I began to see that the sign said, Jesus saves, there were these two girls in an obviously committed relationship walking past the man holding the sign. And this man yells out in his condescending voice, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. And I don’t know how else to say this to you except don’t do that. Don’t do that. Brothers and sisters, rarely will people come to know the God who saves by mocking the culture,

by speaking in a condescending tone to these people. We are called to speak the truth, indeed, but to speak the truth in love. We don’t speak the truth in arrogance and in a condescending tone. Our aim should be to lovingly bring the gospel to bear on their lives and pray that God would miraculously open up their eyes to the truth. And if they come to know this Jesus, then God by his work, by his word and through his spirit will give them a better understanding concerning God’s design for marriage. You don’t have to carry that burden on your own. So don’t do that. It doesn’t help the situation. And it’s not loving. But hear me, it’s also important to know that it’s not loving to capitulate to the culture. You love, but you do not endorse. When you endorse, it’s not love. It’s also important to understand, and you guys need to hear me say this, same-sex marriage

or any other expression of marriage that is outside the bounds of scripture is not the worst kind of sin. We got to be careful not to make that the most important chief of sins or the one and only unforgivable sin because it’s not. It’s not. This is why you begin with the gospel. You begin with the truths of the gospel. Otherwise you’re just preaching behavior modification. So speak the truth in love that marriage is by design male and female. Number three, marriage is a shift of priority. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. Now this says a man shall leave, but you can easily replace man for spouse. To the point here is that your spouse is to become your highest priority, higher than your own family and higher than your children. There must be a shift in priority.

And it’s not just with your blood relatives, but with everything. And when I say everything, I really do mean everything. Everything should come before your marriage, family, friendships, homeboys, girlfriends, work. And listen, this can even mean ministry. I’m preaching that to myself. And the phrase hold fast here, it means to be tightly united. Imagine a soldier dropped in the middle of war who holds his weapon closely and tightly. He sleeps with it. He grips it because it’s so important to him in that world. You are to hold your spouses close and tightly at all times. So incredibly close that there is no possible way you could imagine of letting that go. Hold fast. Make it a priority. Number four, marriage is meant for physical intimacy. And the two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Listen, there is a union that takes place anytime two individual people engage in physical

intimacy that makes them one, that ties them. God’s design is for physical intimacy to be between a man and woman in a committed marriage relationship. Now I know that sounds crazy to some people because we live in a hookup casual sex culture where people mutually use each other’s bodies primarily for momentary pleasure. But listen, sex is so much more complicated and spiritual than that. The Australian evangelist, Glenn Scrivener, says this when he’s speaking about casual sex culture, he uses this illustration. He begins with this question, is your body more like a playground or a temple? To the people who say it’s more like a playground, his response is, has the Me Too movement not taught you anything? Because the entire Me Too movement is screaming out to you that our bodies are far more like temples than they are playgrounds. When things go wrong in the area of sex, does it feel like a grazed knee on a playground

or does it feel like desecration? It feels like an invasion of a holy space and Glenn gets it right because sex is meant to be sacred. Sex is a spiritual unifier. The very act itself is a spiritual thing that binds two people together to become one. Tim Keller says, sex outside of marriage is a way of receiving fulfillment and pleasure but not actually giving of oneself. Sex is addictive and like all addictions, the more you do it, the less payoff there will be. Sex then becomes less powerful and therefore less pleasurable. However, sex within marriage becomes sweeter and more powerful because it is about giving than receiving in this context. Sex within marriage is a powerful statement of exclusive commitment and faithfulness to the other person. You see brothers and sisters, God created sex for our pleasure but not for our pleasure only. He made it for our spiritual flourishing and so the greatest expression of intimacy is

by design reserved for the greatest expression of commitment and that is the spiritual union of marriage. Now I want to tread lightly here because I know this conversation can be painful for some people and it can bring up a lot of baggage and shame but hear me, sex outside of marriage is also not the greatest of sins or an unforgivable sin. If you’ve stepped beyond the bounds of God’s design for physical intimacy, listen to me, you’re not damaged goods. You hear that? You’re not damaged. You’ve not lost your value or your dignity. Your worthiness remains intact and you can experience a pure and sacred marriage. I don’t know much about purity culture and how that has hurt so many people but I do know about forgiveness culture and how God heals and restores broken people. He’s that good. God is gracious and forgiving and when you turn from your own design for physical intimacy

and begin to follow his template, there is an endless ocean of forgiveness, freedom and spiritual flourishing. My encouragement to you this morning, if you feel overwhelmed by shame and guilt because of the words that are preached to you this morning, let these words ring in your ear this morning. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come. So you’re not damaged goods. You’ve been made new. Trust, turn and make a commitment to follow his design for physical intimacy because the pathway of his design brings you to human flourishing. And then five, and this really gets to the heart of our issue this morning. Marriage was intended for permanence. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

This most sacred union is joined together by God himself. So no one has the right to rip it apart. And you see this statement here speaks so loudly, not just in the first century culture, but also in our culture. It screams that marriage is not to be entered into flippantly or casually. If you’ve ever heard me run a marriage ceremony or speak at a marriage ceremony, I always start with that. It’s not meant to be entered into flippantly or casually, but soberly with an understanding that what God is doing is he sovereignly bringing two people together. Let that sober you. And you see, this is the whole point that Jesus was driving at with these Pharisees. They shouldn’t be asking what is permissible. The question they should be asking is what is God’s design? So the Pharisees don’t get the answer they were hoping for.

When Divorce Is Permitted

He sidestepped their trap, but what they did get is a whole lot more. And in light of the Pharisees’ flippant and casual approach to marriage and Jesus’s heavy discourse on his original design for marriage, the disciples now probe Jesus in private about this issue of marriage and divorce. And we see that in verses 10 through 12 with the teaching. And in the house, the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. As has been Jesus’s pattern over the last few passages, Jesus gets his disciples away from the crowd and engages their question with this private teaching. And what Jesus says here is both shocking and sobering. If a man divorces his wife and gets remarried, then he commits adultery.

And if a woman divorces her husband and gets remarried, then she commits adultery. Now the first thing I want you to notice here is not so much the shock of Jesus’s statement on remarriage after divorce. We’ll get to that in a minute. But first, notice the way in which Jesus raises the dignity of women in this culture. See, it was obvious that the Pharisees didn’t care much about women in their culture. I mean, their whole approach to divorce was framed with this very particular power dynamic. In this culture, it was men who could issue a certificate of divorce, not women. And so what lies subtly underneath this statement is the idea that men and women are equal. And because of that, they are equally complicit if they divorce and remarry. So although this is a warning, this kind of statement would be considered radical and

countercultural in a first century patriarchal society. But what’s more shocking than that is Jesus’s statement that not only is divorce not a part of his intention or design, but Jesus says, if you get a divorce and then remarry, you commit adultery. And again, this is Jesus piggybacking off what he said in verse nine, where, therefore, God has joined together. Let not man separate. You see, in God’s eyes and by his design, marriage is meant to be permanent. And notice Mark documents no exception here. Mark makes this very final and emphatic statement about it. There’s no nuance in Mark’s gospel. So the question is then, are there really no exceptions for divorce? Are there no legitimate grounds for remarriage without committing the sin of adultery? Well, the answer is no. There are grounds for divorce and remarriage in some cases without committing adultery. It’s just not Mark’s burden here with these people in this audience.

And that’s probably because of his immediate cultural context. Mark was speaking to men who were so careless and reckless with their commitment of marriage. And this is why, brothers and sisters, we need to read our entire Bibles and allow scripture to interpret scripture. So then if you look at Matthew’s account of this narrative, Jesus says, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. So here in Matthew’s account, we get a fuller picture of the issue and we see what’s called an exception clause, where sexual immorality becomes the exception for a person to get divorced and remarried without committing the sin of adultery. Now just to be clear, this isn’t a mandate to get divorced. This is not a command that you must get divorced and remarried if someone has broken your marriage bond. Listen, if you have an unfaithful spouse and that spouse is genuinely repentant and has

obviously demonstrated that, then you have a choice. You can get divorced. You would have grounds to do so. The person who steps outside the bounds of marriage has ripped apart what God has brought together. So you would have the right to divorce and remarry, but you also have the right to choose to forgive your spouse and begin that difficult path of restoration. In fact, countless couples, I know countless couples, where one person in the marriage has broken the bonds of their marriage, where their unfaithful spouse confessed their sin, was deeply sorrowful, repented and sought to make things right, and after a long period of time, the faithful spouse forgave the unfaithful spouse, and by the grace of God, their marriage was restored. This happens often. Now listen, this is not an easy task. It’s hard. Once the highest, most sacred trust has been broken, it’s hard to establish trust again.

But here is the beauty of the gospel, that God is in the business of sometimes restoring and reconciling repentant people to make things right. But again, the sin of adultery is such a violation. It’s so painful. It’s so devastating. It literally rips apart flesh, and because of that, God grants concession for the offended partner. And listen, hear me, this is God’s love and kindness to those who have suffered so much pain and unfaithfulness. And let me be clear, hear me, one choice is not more spiritual than the other. You got that? It’s not. God clearly lays it out, you have a choice. And then the apostle Paul tells us of another exception, 1 Corinthians 7.15, but if an unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved, God has called you to peace. So here we get another legitimate exception clause for divorce and remarriage without

committing the sin of adultery. If two people get married as unbelievers, and then one of them becomes a believer, and as a result, the unbelieving spouse decides to abandon the believing spouse for whatever reason, I don’t like your new religion, it’s too complicated for me, I don’t wanna be around you anymore, well, then God gives legitimate grounds for divorce and remarriage. And let me be clear about this, if you’re a Christian, and you’re married to an unbeliever, and your unbelieving spouse chooses to stay in that relationship, you have no grounds for divorce, okay? You have no grounds. As hard as that may be, as lonely as I can imagine that might be, as challenging as that might be, you’re called to stay faithful to your commitment. And listen, there are many testimonies of a believing spouse who remained married to an unbelieving spouse, and by God’s grace, through the persistent and faithful love of

the believer, the unbelieving spouse comes to trust and believe in Jesus. Hear me, this happens more than you think. In fact, this is one of the means that God miraculously uses to draw unbelievers to himself, the faithful and committed witness of a believing spouse who lives out the gospel every single day to their unbelieving spouse. Now, are these the only two options for divorce and remarriage without committing the sin of adultery? Well, these are the only two passages where Scripture explicitly and clearly lays out the issue. But let me say this, and I want to be sensitive here, I personally think that there are other justifiable reasons. Because divorce is very difficult and complicated. No two situations are the same. Each situation requires a certain amount of care and wisdom to navigate, and so because of that, I’m just not going to get into the weeds of what might or might not be sufficient

grounds for divorce. I think we have to use biblical wisdom in some of these cases. Those things should be considered pastorally and prayerfully and slowly. Those issues are not really the burden of our text this morning. The whole point here is that though no two situations are the same, divorce is always tragic. Divorce is always a result of some particular sin, and divorce is always a breaking or severing of what God has sovereignly brought together. So divorce should never be treated as flippant or casual. And listen, I want to make this absolutely and abundantly clear. Unfaithfulness, sexual immorality, and adultery are all forgivable sins. Now I don’t take that lightly. Please don’t hear me in any way justifying these sins. These sins wreak havoc on marriages. They destroy relationships. They ruin families. They crush children. There is an overwhelming amount of pain that is caused because of these sins.

And so again, I don’t take these sins lightly, but what I am saying is that Christ died for our sins. From the smallest to the greatest of sins, he paid for them all by his own blood. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be consequences or human repercussions for those sins, but it does mean that we are forgiven and made right with God if we confess and we turn from our sins. So I don’t hold to this idea that if you get divorced and remarried after you’ve repented of your sin that you’re somehow in this perpetual state of adultery. That’s not how God works. If you repent of your sin, God forgives, it’s a done deal. And so if that’s your situation, if you’ve repented from this sin, you don’t need to feel shame. You’ve been forgiven and clean. I can’t say this enough. Unfaithfulness, sexual immorality, and adultery are not unforgivable sins.

The Gospel of Forgiveness

All sins in the sight of God are damnable, but all sin covered by Jesus’s blood is forgivable. Here is the one thing you can be certain of, because we’re all sinners, because we are all marred by sin. Every single one of us has failed to perfectly love our God. We have over and over again been unfaithful to the God who created us, who loved us. But even though we’ve been unfaithful to him, he still pursues us. He forgives us. He cleanses us, he restores us, and he loves us. And you see, brothers and sisters, this is why God hates divorce. Because the unbreakable, never-ending bond between man and woman in marriage is in every way meant to be a picture of the unbreakable, never-ending bond between Jesus and his church. Marriage is a picture of the God who came to rescue and redeem adulterous people through

his life, death, and resurrection. Instead of divorcing his unfaithful people, he delivers them from their unfaithfulness. My question for you this morning is, do you know this Jesus? Do you know this Jesus? The God who is willing to wash you clean from all of your sin and unfaithfulness. The God who gave his life for you when you were nothing but unfaithful to him. Do you know this Jesus? You can know this Jesus this morning. You can have this Jesus this morning. All you have to do is turn from your sin, trust and believe that he is God, that he died for your sins, and he will save you from your sins. You can have him this morning. Let’s pray. Our Father and our God, as we sit underneath this text, it simply reveals that we are an unfaithful people, that we have over and over and over again been unfaithful to you, but

you are a good husband who lifts us up out of the pit, who washes us, who cleans us, who restores us, and brings us back into this reconciled relationship. I pray, God, that we would be comforted by your word this morning, that we would be corrected by your word this morning, that we would be conformed more into the image of Jesus. Help us to live according to your beautiful blueprint. Help us not approach marriage flippantly and casually. And Lord, I pray specifically for those in our congregation who are single and seeking marriage, that you would take these truths this morning and that you would burn them in their hearts so that they understand your template. Set them on a course of your goodness and flourishing. We pray all of these things in Christ’s name, amen.